It's that time time of the year again. Yes, that time when I try and convince you to donate money to some cause or another by growing hair on my face.

( The MySpace Shot )

This might be last year I bother, they've gotten IOC-ed, the rules are a lot tighter, and you can't really grow any kind of exotic facial hair any more. And that's just no fun.

Anyway, you can give money here.

Today at 3:30pm we will be conducting Operation Avalon a Battle at Avalon Park in Avalon, Lower Hutt. I'll be taking newspaper and tape to equip people who decide to show up at short notice, and if you want to come watch, feel free.

If you want to get there via public transport, here's how:

The 110 Upper Hutt (Petone - Emerald Hill) Bus passes directly past Avalon Park, so all you have to do is get on it (the 2:48pm from Petone Railway Station should get you there around 3:10pm). If you're starting from Wellington City, you'll need to get a connecting bus to Petone, I suggest the 2:05pm (Hutt-bound) Airport Flyer from Courtenay Place, which should get you to Petone around 2:30pm.

If you're starting from Upper Hutt, you'll want the 2:55pm Bus.

It's worth considering buying a concession ticket, and as I'm taking Mr Haddock (a new recruit) I'm going to buy Group Daytripper Passes for Wellington and the Hutt. Note that this means I can take up to 2 more people. If you're starting from the Hutt, you only need a Hutt Group Pass (they cost $12 for up to 4 people).

You can if you prefer take the train, the closest stop is Naenae, which is a stroll of a little under a kilometer through the suburbs, quite doable.

Well, that was the election. Not what I hoped for, but what I expected.

I should really do something with the day, I've basically spent the whole day lounging around in my dressing gown, drinking custard.

Pirate Party was pretty good. I think these things are getting better.

Whilst I'm vaguely on the subject of elections, there's a billboard I pass everyday on the way to work, and it irritates me. It's one of those National Party billboards that says "More Doctors, More Nurses, Less Bureaucrats". I'm sure that sounds all very well on talkback radio, and other dens of stupidity, but the same week it went up there was an article in the newspaper about a woman who died because the hospital lost her paperwork. Cutting back on those damn bureaucrats is sure going to help there isn't it.

They rant and rave as well when some con gets out of prison and falls back into some form of headline making bad behavior, but they never call for more social workers, just a longer stretch in the animal house to make them into proper monsters. Build more prisons, works for the US. Social workers are probably all socialists anyway.

Munters.

Lockwood Smith is still in there as well, that smarmy bastard, in fact it's pretty much the same bunch of villains as it was the last time they got chucked out of government, just with a new front-man with more hair. "Time for a Change". Ha.

But we'll probably wind up with them anyway; the Electorate, tired of scolding, will vote for beatings.

The video has nothing to do with the rest of the entry:

Battle next weekend.

BTW, Congrats 'mericans, most of you on my list at least seem to be delighted with the result. Good job.

To paraphrase slightly; comment here and I will choose six of your userpics. The idea is that you make an entry of your own discussing these userpics; what they mean to you or why you chose them and so forth. You then solicit comments and the cycle of exposition repeats itself.

I'm not one to pass up a chance to talk about myself, so here goes. Here are the six userpics chosen by jenni_talula:

1		2		3
4		5		6

Most of these pictures have more than one meaning, they represent a subject, mood, or joke (sometimes directed at myself). The remarks on intent below can never be exhaustive, because I make it up as I go along.

1. "Trust me, I'm a Doctor". This is a picture of a medieval Quack Doctor, the leather helmet he is wearing contains aromatic herbs to protect him against the Plague. I started using this a few years back when I was offering expert advice. I think it was good advice, but I feel compelled to take the piss out of myself nevertheless.
2. The cover of the Love Will Tear Us Apart album by Joy Division. It's one of my favorite posters; it's above my monitor as I type this. I use it for Gothic subjects, or to indicate that the subject matter contains excessive quantities of angst, or just when the subject matter is genuinely very sad.
3. A still from the BBC mini-series Edge of Darkness, used as cover art on videos and DVDs. It's considered one of the best dramas ever produced by the BBC, and it's a personal favorite. As it's very grim, I tend to use it for grim subjects.
4. Great Big Tits. After I had produced the "Nice Big Cock" pic (Fight Club reference), I thought I should straighten the place up a bit. To compound the pun, I believe these might be Great Tits. Inevitably I end up lowering the tone at some point. Apart from the obvious sexual and physical references, these are otherwise used when somebody (myself included) is being an fool.
5. Inspired by Monty Python and the letters page of any major newspaper. See these journal entries here, here and here.
6. I find moustaches hilarious, and my journal sports several images of smirking men with moustaches; some of them are even me. In any case, I ran a poll to decide on the latest addition, and Cary Elwes was the clear winner on the day; the gender bias amongst the respondents probably had something to do with it. Tragically Cary Elwes now looks like a beardy middle-aged Linux-Admin, but this picture captures him in all his youthful smirking glory.

So, comment, and I shall pick six of yours.

Remember this? Well, it's on Friday! If you ask nicely, I may even make you a cocktail.

Skype is one of the first really new things I've done with my computer for years. It's like living in the future. I may not have a silver jump-suit and an atomic flying car, but I have a video-phone. It's awesome.

Here's a picture of a cat.


more animals

I do sometimes read the members list of KAOSians, where today I spotted this, which lead me to this.

That profile page is fascinating in all sorts of ways. Firstly because it's a fun party game to read out her interests list fast, without drawing breath, putting emphasis on particular words as you see fit. You could probably even sing it like a Gilbert and Sullivan number.

But secondly, for the usernames in the members list. I mean, anybody can make up a completely over the top cliched 15-year-old-girl myspace name like bitchwhoregoddess666 (and recognize one when you see it), but it was fascinating (and hilarious) for me to realize how I could divide up the members by sex (mostly stereotypically male), subcultural affiliation/interests and sexual orientation. I won't spoil your fun however. Why don't you go and play for yourself. You could probably make a drinking game out of it.

It's blowing up a storm up here, has been all day. This morning, the power was knocked out, probably a fallen tree or something. You may ask how I'm posting this. The answer is that of course, I'm not. I am in fact, not here.

more animals

Well, I thought it was funny. Anyway, remember this guy?

Something got lost in the babelfish translation here:

"Just using Linux is like an extended and highly irritating IQ test, written by Nerds."

Edit: Also, it's a bit like Wikipedia. People are always blowing off the serious work to write detailed articles about the X-Men.

Edit II: This just goes to show, if you want people to talk to you online, you have to rub them up the wrong way.

My brother sent me this. I think he may have found it on 4chan, which doesn't really bear thinking about.

Edit: Sarah Palin for President?

( Move 2: Dd5 → Eb3 )

On a completely unrelated subject, I find that this picture reminds me of bloodrage. Does anybody else get that?

So, last night I went to the wedding reception of Miriam and Capt Layton, where there a great many red tunics, and inevitably there was singing. I remember there was a song about a prostitute, and another about catching your death of cold and being eaten by ducks in Yorkshire. I was asked for a song myself, and had to explain that KAOS has no songs of it's own*; or rather that it has lots, but they're all sung off-key, in the dark, with an electric guitar accompaniment.

(This was followed by me trying to explain the performance I gave at a party last weekend, which was a special guest appearance of Dodgy Uncle Brian. It made a break from the poetry readings. Anyway, I didn't bring the mask.)

Which raises the question, should there be? Songs I mean. Preferably humorous songs on villainous subjects I would have thought, although your mileage may vary. What do you think, oh children of teh internets?

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* I wan't counting the "Y Anthem", which features the words "arse" and "bleed" in the first verse, and is pretty much unprintable.

Did you ever notice how the English alphabet is mostly pronounced with either an "a" or "e" sound i.e:

Aay	Eff	Kaay	Pee	Ewe	Zed (or Zee)
Bee	Gee	El	Cue	Vee
Cee	Aych	Em	Arh	Double-Ewe
Dee	Aye	En	Ess	Ex
Ee	Jaay	Ooh	Tee	Wie

agentbear suggested that if I ask in my journal, somebody might know why this is. However, I don't think I know that many cunning linguists.

(Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week)

... Help me formulate a wget command that will allow me to download my entire journal.

Being a bear of little patience, and given that my disgusting references to boy-scouts and mountain-bikers seem to have failed in immediately drawing the jaded attentions of you all to the subject of most importance to me, I'm going to come right to the point and ask the one million-internets question again, directly this time.

Who here, in Wellington, would be interested in watching or playing in a Short Round (description, photos)? Karori Park (map, photos); on weekend to be collectively decided. We could finish up with a picnic if people are interested.

Next, the deconstruction of a Pith Helmet

Last weekend I scouted out a couple more parks and reserves on my short round list. Karori Park (map, photos) is a real winner! There is a large flattish area of woodland, so you don't have to run up any hills unless you really want to, it's dry and has excellent access via bus.

Pros	Cons
Frequent No 3 Bus, including on Sundays Off-Street Parking Large Flat Area Dry Underfoot Easy Access Average cover Good Paths Very little Trash Public Toilets and Dairy at end of Field	Nearest Tapwater at end of Field

As an added bonus, the park is littered with the distinctive spoor of Boy-Scouts. A shy, but slow creature, Boy-Scouts make excellent eating. I look forward to ending an enjoyable day in the woods spit-roasting a succulent young Boy-Scout over an open fire.

After taking many blurry photographs of Karori Park, I hurried on to the closest other area on my list (skipping the Skyline Reserve), Borrows Avenue Park and Wrights Hill. It was a nice walk (I took many photos which I will doubtless post later), but the area was totally unsuitable for Short Rounds, due to the steepness of the ground off the track, the squishiness underfoot and the distinctive tracks and wallows of Mountain-Bikers all over Wrights Hill. The Mountain-Biker, unlike the harmless Boy-Scout, is a dangerous creature that can smell a sweaty bicycle-seat up to 3km away, and enjoys rubbing itself up against the scabrous lowland beech trees that litter these hills. If you encounter one, you should under no circumstances show fear. Stand your ground, look them right in the eye, and recite some epic British Poetry. If you can't think of any (you really should have paid attention at school), a rousing chorus of Blake's Jerusalem or The National Anthem should see them off; anything with frequent references to God and The Queen usually works. However, if you let a second one get behind you, you're buggered.

Anyway, to business. Who is up for a Short Round? I'm good for any weekend after next weekend, for a while at least.

Here's Bill Bailey on European Ambulance Sirens:

Earlier this week, shortly after upgrading Ubuntu* I made the mistake of saying it hadn't broken anything. This was a tempting fate, and fate has obliged with a few choice kicks to the nuts.

The latest indignity is that it's replaced the camera management software with something even worse, if that's possible. I don't know what the hell this "F-Spot" thing is, although apparently it's more like the Windows camera management software. Now there's a splendid idea. Some twitching neckbeard has conspired for months to bring me this bloody awful piece of software. I never had an f-spot before and I don't want one. It wants me to tag things. If I want to tag things I'll get some proper gallery software, not this feculent piece of junk. It can't even manage to delete the damn photos from the camera, it just copies them.

And it took a long time to copy them too. Another great Windows feature successfully emulated!

So I pop open the file browser, go to the camera, and move them all to "Trash". This does not involve moving them to the trash folder as you might expect. No, it made its own special trash folder, on the camera. That really frees up space, doesn't it children? I had to open up a terminal and delete them the old-fashioned (i.e. reliable) way.

So, once more I'm going to have to stuff around uninstalling useless apps, and trying to find something unobtrusive to replace them with. This may mean the command line.

Bloody Freetards.

Edit: And why does it keep changing the designation of the DVD drive? It's gone from /dev/dvd to /dev/dvd2 to /dev/dvd3. I suspect it does this just so I can enjoy the WTF-moment when DVDs don't play.

---

* To "Hardy Heron". It even sounds Mickey Mouse. Will version 13 be called "Mickey Mouse"? And why the hell is everything brown?

Tonight was my third lesson. My posture is bad, I need to work on my lead, and I'm definitely going to stick with this.

It's a bit like taking up Judo all over again; I haven't felt this clumsy in ages. Still, there are already people who're worse at it than I am, so I must be getting somewhere.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not actually popular in Russia, I'm just popular with Robots. I haven't really been paying much attention to this growing flood of supposed Russian Formula-One Fans, but even so, it's pretty obvious. Have a gander at some of these from my livejournal folder:

• shandiefurlow
• yuehcuffling
• joshreve
• andie_baillarge
• kessiamcharg

Running the fish over some of the entries suggests to me that they're blocks of text lifted from books. Of course, these are just the ones who're still active, over half of them have been suspended. I imagine it's some sort of scheme to pick up friends at random, and then flood their friends lists with spam. I can't say for certain, because I never bothered f-listing any of them in return.

Sounds like a fun party doesn't it?

Pictured is Michele Allen of Ohio, who went on a drunken rampage in a cow-suit last Saturday; frightening children and horses. More at the Smoking Gun

( Cowsuit Rampage! ) God bless America.

So anyway, yesterday I cleaned up some things in the garage, and cleaned out the concertina files; an unsuccessful experiment in organising stuff. I never really used them enough, mostly things just piled up on my desk or in boxes in bags, until eventually I started using plastic drawers. I shredded another stack of old bank statements, which is always satisfying (Rrrrrrrrrrr), and discovered some interesting mementos. There is a receipt here for the hire of a candyfloss machine and a loudhailer, and a letter from the ACC informing that my claim for the incident with the gladwrap and the concussion had been accepted. Interesting times.

In any case, my life is now a recycling bin lighter, not to mention the large box of dead and obsolete computer parts that we got rid of yesterday. I have an envelope of SCA A&S stuff that I should probably give to Hannah, and three empty concertina files. Anybody want three empty concertina files? They're perfectly good, I don't want to chuck them in the bin.

The Libertad is currently in Wellington harbour, and today is your last chance to take a tour. So if you want to wander around a Frigate, by which I mean a three masted, ship rigged sailing vessel of the Argentinian navy, and gawp at take pictures of Argentinian Navel Officers in mirrored aviators*, tour hours are 2-4pm.

Of course, the weather isn't fantastic, but it's not actually raining, and they do have an awning over the aft deck. I can't promise they'll be wearing their sunglasses today though.

Also, you get a nice pamphlet about visiting Argentina. Presumably not by scampering over to boarder in Patagonia and having a bit of a shuftie at the other side of the mountain, then scurrying back to Chile before somebody shoots at you.

---

* I gather this is the Argentinian version of wearing black a lot. Which a lot of Kiwis do, apparently. Who knew?

I've been combing through my collection of old computer parts in preparation for eDay, most of is destined for recycling at last. I've compiled a sizable pile of 32 pin memory sticks, memory chips obsolete CPUs, floppy drives and floppy drive cables, parallel and serial cables and adapters, case fans, dead routers, serial mice, a SCSI controller, dead motherboards, obsolete video cards, a 17 Gb hardrive and a late 90s cellphone.

All of this without going out to the garage and dragging out the box of dead hardware I've been saving for this. Maybe I should pile it all up and take a photo.

Anyway, here's Bill Bailey on Doctor Who.